How should I respond to my girlfriend’s pregnancy?
“I’m pregnant,” she said. Your heart fell to your stomach as your emotions took an involuntary rollercoaster ride. Perhaps you felt angry and yelled, gave your girlfriend the silent treatment, or muttered a quick, half-hearted, “You take care of it” or “Let’s do whatever you want.” But as you continue to process, you realize you might need outside input on responding to this life-altering information.
Give yourself time
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Talk honestly about your feelings
Running away from your feelings won’t help anyone. It is okay to admit that you are scared or upset. You may also be thinking, “I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to have a child right now.” But, when sharing your feelings, you must also ensure you are not taking out your anger on your girlfriend. Find healthy outlets for your concerns– running, hiking, lifting weights, journaling, etc.
Don’t blame her
Asking questions like “How did this happen?” makes it seem like she made a mistake by getting pregnant. Remember, you are both equally responsible for the pregnancy. Whether she was using birth control or the condom failed, it doesn’t matter.
Blaming someone won’t undo the pregnancy. Try and use “we” language. Saying, “We can do this” or “We can talk to our parents together” helps her feel supported.
Figure out your relationship later
You might not know if you want to commit to being with your girlfriend forever. You might not even know her that well, or maybe you were thinking of breaking up before this happened.
Take a deep breath. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You can still support your girlfriend and be there for her, even if you don’t know where the relationship is heading. Just take one step at a time.
Don’t rush her into a decision
Don’t pressure or rush her to make a decision about her unplanned pregnancy. It is worth taking time to research all of your options thoroughly.
Some questions that the two of you should be asking together include:
What are the risks of abortion?
Can we afford the abortion costs?
Would adoption be a better choice for us?
Could we choose adoptive parents for our child that would give him/her the life that we can’t?https://bostonpregnancychoices.org
Is parenting or co-parenting an option for us?
Schedule free pregnancy services
Before making any pregnancy decisions, schedule an appointment at Boston Pregnancy Center for free pregnancy services. We provide free pregnancy tests and referrals for an ultrasound to verify the pregnancy.
You and your girlfriend have pregnancy options. We can provide accurate information on abortion procedures, side effects, and potential risks. In addition, we can talk about the pros and cons of making an adoption plan or parenting. At Boston Pregnancy Center, we can answer any questions about pregnancy, abortion, adoption, or parenting. We are here to help you! Call today or schedule your confidential appointment online.
Call: 617-742-9170
Fax: 857-284-4303
Email: info@bostonpregnancychoices.org
FAQs
1. What should I do first if my girlfriend says she’s pregnant? The first step is to stay calm, listen, and offer support. Many couples confirm the pregnancy together for clarity and peace of mind. If you need help navigating the situation, you can visit a center offering free pregnancy support for men in Massachusetts.
2. How can I support my girlfriend emotionally during an unplanned pregnancy? Be present, patient, and open to conversation. Unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming, so showing empathy goes a long way. Many men find it helpful to access confidential relationship and pregnancy guidance near Boston so they can support their partner more confidently.
3. Should we confirm the pregnancy together? Yes. Taking a lab-quality pregnancy test together can reduce confusion or doubt. A pregnancy center can provide free, confidential pregnancy testing and consultations in Massachusetts.
4. What if we don’t agree on what to do next? Differences are common, but try to approach the conversation with respect and honesty. A neutral third party—such as a pregnancy center offering no-pressure options education near Boston—can help both of you talk through concerns and next steps.
5. How can I handle my own stress and fear about the pregnancy? It’s normal to feel anxious, uncertain, or unprepared. Talking to someone you trust, like a counselor or a pregnancy support advocate, can help. Many centers provide free support for men dealing with unplanned pregnancy in MA.
6. What practical steps can I take to help my girlfriend right now? Offer to drive her to appointments, research information together, and check in regularly on how she’s feeling. Small supportive actions help build trust. You can also visit a center for free pregnancy information and relationship support near Boston.
7. Should I go with my girlfriend to her ultrasound?
If she’s comfortable, yes. Being present during an ultrasound can help you both understand the pregnancy more clearly. Some pregnancy centers provide free limited ultrasounds and support for couples.
